Why we are Afraid to Surrender, Forgive and Love

 

Mony Dojeiji

I do a great deal of personal writing, much of it my way of working through whatever comes up for healing. I don’t share all my inner work but, in this case, I felt nudged to do so. Love is always nudging 😊, wanting only to offer Its healing and peace to all. So, I am following Its call.

I was reflecting on ideas I was taught (with all the love and best intentions in the world): that I’m too trusting and too nice; that I need to be less naïve to survive in this world; that being kind and generous only gets you abused. The difficult experiences of my life – especially those around betrayal and trust – proved those ideas true and led me to over the years to harden my heart and dismiss the notion of ever forgiving the perpetrators of those acts. 

I was sitting with Spirit, looking at the residual guilt, shame, rage, blame and thoughts of victimhood. I felt my resistance, my unwillingness to let go of the belief that I am innocent and they are guilty. My mind kept replaying all the scenarios to justify my holding on to the anger, while Spirit patiently waited for me to loosen my grip.

At the same time I was going through this process, news came of the 67 Palestinian and 2 Israeli children killed in air attacks. A week later, the remains of 215 children were found on the grounds of a residential school in British Columbia (Canada). Then came the attack on a Muslim family out for an evening stroll that left only the child alive; followed by the discovery of another 751 unmarked graves, and now more, bringing the total to about 1500 children so far. 

It’s intense emotionally. It takes everything to stay anchored in Love and not to attack, condemn and judge.

It’s especially hard because there is something primal that’s triggered within us when we hear of children being abused, killed or harmed in any way. It is an attack on innocence and purity itself that our minds can make no sense of and that no explanation can bring our hearts any measure of peace.

It seemed odd to me that children dominated the news. I began to wonder if there was a connection between what was happening within me and what was showing up before me.

It turns out there was.

So, into the circle of all-enfolding Love I now enter, and invite you to come with me if you so feel called; to lay aside for a moment the anger and grief, all that we think we know about who we are, what’s happening, what we should do, why we’re here…and consider for a moment another way of looking at this situation that may bring us all some peace.

Let Love lead the way. 

Let healing begin with me.

If I accept that I am the source of what is happening in my world, then I must take responsibility for what I am seeing.

If I can’t do that – or even consider the possibility – then I must fear that doing so means opening a Pandora’s Box that jeopardizes the very foundations of my belief system. If I fear looking, then perhaps my foundations aren’t as strong as I’d like to believe. Perhaps it is here indeed that I need to take a closer look.

In the case of residential schools, we see the calls demanding justice, seeking punishment for the guilty, having them pay for what they have done. I so understand, and honour and respect the desire to have the pain finally being seen so that healing can begin. 

I appreciate the outer action…

But does the IDEA that somehow justified all these actions disappear? 

Of course not.

It’s in the collective consciousness, of which I am a part. 

If one person has this idea, we all have it.

It may take different forms, but the central IDEA remains the same:

We are different, and separate.

I can do whatever I want to you because I am more X than you, and you are less X than me. My way is best. I know best. You know nothing. In fact, you are nothing. 

This is an IDEA that feeds separation. The good news is that all ideas can be changed. That’s why all minds can be changed. Nothing is fixed. Nothing is immutable.

Except Love. It is the only truth.

That’s why it can begin with me, in my own mind, in my own heart. Whatever I’m willing to challenge and heal within my own mind and heart will be healed in the collective. 

Because the truth is we are One.

This IDEA that we are separate wants to keep me (the “innocent” victim) condemning the “guilty” perpetrator. It insists that I cannot be loving to all. I cannot be kind. I cannot forgive acts that are unforgiveable. I cannot speak of love, or of a Creator who loves all equally. I cannot speak of the truth of our spiritual nature. I cannot go in peace without taking sides. I cannot be a friend to all. I cannot see the light and beauty and grace in all. I cannot speak of unity and brotherhood… 

Because to do so only gets you killed.

This IDEA now brings me proof and witnesses of all kind to demonstrate just how real and how right *it* is:

Martin Luther King, Mahatma Gandhi, Yitzhak Rabin, John Lennon, most of the disciples of Jesus… and, of course, Jesus himself, the Prince of Peace.

And now, the children. The ultimate symbols of innocence.

All of them witnesses to keep me anchored in separation, in attack, in judgment, in condemnation and the IDEA that:

Being innocent and loving only gets you killed; and 

Those who abuse will do whatever it takes to maintain their power.

The remedy *it* proposes? 

Be tough. Defend yourself. Attack them before they attack you. Never forget what they did. Never forgive them. Be angry. Be vengeful. Look out for yourself and your own interests. Be strong so that they can never hurt you. Build more walls. Definitely harden your heart, and don’t believe anything that speaks of love or forgiveness because love only gets you killed and forgiveness is for the weak.

Any adult who has witnessed or suffered abuse can see these being the response of the wounded child; which is why these stories with children are so triggering.

This is why we are afraid to open our hearts.

We have ideas and beliefs that have morphed into traumas and fears that show us the consequences of being innocent or loving.

And the world is showing us example after example of exactly what we believe.

So, yes, by all means, with as much love, compassion and forgiveness as we can muster, let us address the outer situation with the residential schools;

But to truly heal – to truly be free – let us also have the courage to look WITHIN to the source of all these experiences.

This is perhaps the hardest part of the work; to accept that with my (often subconscious) beliefs and fears I am contributing to what I am seeing. See my June 6 post below.  I am projecting those fears and beliefs into the world; and they show up in forms infinite to confirm exactly what I believe, and to convince me of the futility of surrender, forgiveness and love.

It can feel daunting, overwhelming. And it would be insurmountable indeed if I believed I was doing this healing work alone. 

We are not alone. Ever. This moment, as always, is calling us to lean on the One who can heal these ideas of separation and bring us back to wholeness. Individually and collectively.

This is the true meaning of reconciliation: to make whole. 

There is no evil. Only a veil. (That’s a play on words.)

This veil through which I live (another play on words!) has a simple correction.

The I in which I live is made whole in love. (Switch out the letter I for the letter O).

When we allow Love to transform the mind that believes in “I”, we are transformed. We are made whole. We become One in Love.

From here, I offer this prayer:

“Father-Mother God – Creator of All – I come to You, bringing my grief, my confusion and all the burdens of my heart and mind.

I place them in the sacred fire of Your altar which is Love; 

And watch Love’s alchemy heal what I alone cannot heal.

Thank You.

Creator, help me correct this error in my mind so that I may have peace in my heart; so that I may know from You what is mine to do.

I am willing to see things differently. I am willing to understand.

I am your beloved Child. We are Your beloved Child.

In Your eyes, I am (we are) Innocent, Pure, Radiant, Joy-filled, One with you… and that will never change, no matter what I (we) choose to think, because that is what You are; and I am (we are) Your creation.

Help me forgive myself this error in my thinking that tries to convince me I am separate from You, from my brothers-sisters and all life.

Remove the veils that stop me from seeing my brother-sister as You see them.

Help me wake up from this dream of my own making.

Help me remember and accept the truth of what I am.

Help me remember and accept the truth of Your love for me, and all my brothers-sisters.

Help me remember and accept that I am safe with You.

All Your children are safe with You.

For Love is all there is.

Amen.”

May these words be of service 💖🙏💖

~Mony 

P.S. Please share if you feel called to do so.

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#monydojeiji #walkingforpeace #spirit #spiritualawakening #innerchild #innerwork #innerjourney #healingtrauma #innerhealing #acim Alberto Agraso #spiritual #WeAreOne #loveistheonlytruth #loveistheway #hooponopono

The Labels we Cast Upon Another

Mony Dojeiji

Four years ago, we were living through a period of suicide bombings. Fear gripped us as we witnessed the horrors in countries around the globe. The entire world was on edge, not knowing how to respond or even contain these acts.

A good friend sent me a private message then, asking:

“What is going wrong with the world, Mony?”

Not a loaded question, eh?! 😄

I’ve taken my original response to her, and expanded on it. The focus is around the idea of LABELS.

Of course we know that today, even as then, we were going through a deep transformation, confronting the ever-fundamental questions of who we are, what we believe about ourselves and others, and what kind of world we choose to live in. And with each cycle of change, we face our hidden biases, our deepest fears and prejudices, perhaps even our shame and guilt at the feelings that these events awaken in us. We go through this inner reckoning individually and collectively.

Our mind loves to separate, to divide, to create bundles and pieces of information. It does this because it needs order. And with order, comes the belief that it is in control. And in its quest for order, the mind creates labels:

Terrorist. Fanatic. Radical. Extremist. Zealot. Maniac.

Even as I’m writing these words, I feel the energy shift within me. I feel the characterizations that these words carry. I feel them feeding the separation between me and the person, dehumanizing them, making them into an object upon which I can thrust all of my judgments.

These labels, however, are artificial; inventions of a mind seeking to understand what is often un-understandable…not with our human mind anyways.

The more we hold on to these labels, the more we keep them in our collective consciousness.

The more attention we pay to them, the more of them we see.

The more that we believe that “those people” are incapable of change or growth, the more we keep them where they are, and look for any action to support what we believe.

We do this individually, and collectively.

But we can change those labels, because what’s a label? Nothing more than an idea, a thought, a perspective… And an idea can always be changed. It can always be replaced by another idea.

So, let’s consider that “extremist”…

What if I choose to see him as a fellow human being, a brother, who has chosen terribly, whose life journey has led him to such desperation and hopelessness that the only solution he saw was this terrible act?

Would that influence what I say and how I act? I believe it would…

And what if I believe that there is nothing random in this Universe? That it is, in fact, a Loving Universe? That Love is the only Truth, and what moves all things? What if I believe that this person is a spiritual being having a physical experience, as I am, as you are, as we all are? How do I know how his actions affect his soul journey, the highest within him? Who am I to judge that? How do I know the sacred agreements involved with others? How do I know what their soul journeys are all about? What they have agreed to do? I have no idea… but again, this is all based on my belief that there is nothing random in this Universe, and only Love exists.

If I didn’t believe this, I couldn’t possibly make sense of this world.

And because I believe that the outer world is a projection of my inner world, that what I see “out there” is showing me what is happening “in here” (in the inner universe of my mind, my heart, my beliefs, my memories)…then I must also look within me to whatever has brought this event into MY awareness. If I’m aware of it, then it’s my task to take responsibility for whatever my part in it is – conscious or, more likely, unconscious.

How could I possibly contribute to the creation of a terrorist or extremist?

By holding on to any belief that violence is justified:

That the means justify the ends. That there is a “just” cause. That sometimes the only way forward is through violence, even the threat of violence. That I have a right to take out my anger, frustration, hurt and helplessness on another. That violence is the only way I can be seen or heard, my cause taken seriously. That my violent thoughts towards another have no effect, if I don’t act on them.

With ALL of these beliefs do I contribute to the “extremist”. And whenever I see their actions, it just confirms what I already believe anyways.

And so in this cycle I remain. Until I am ready to stop it at its root. Within me. How?

I take every thought of violence and attack; every judgment and label; every emotion; every act I may have taken (known or unknown)… and I bring them in offering to the altar of Love. To the place where all is forgiven. Where I can lay down my shame, my pain, my guilt. Where all the errors in my thinking and perceptions can be corrected. Where my heart can be healed. Where I can be transformed, by Love. Where I can finally be at peace.

And in that peace, I can see more clearly. Understand in new ways. Look upon “the other” as my brother. See the light and awakening arising in him, in the same way that it is in me. See him changing in every moment, as I have, in every moment becoming more and more filled with wisdom, with light…and acting in consequence.

But I can only see that in another if I am able to see that in myself first.

Could this be the meaning of the teaching by Jesus: “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”

I do this work for every person I’m tempted to label and judge. And I stubbornly hold on to my vision, no matter what others choose to say or do.

There’s also a lot RIGHT with this world. There are so many people working from a consciousness of love, bringing that into the world, building the world we want to live in. It is happening now, and gaining momentum. That’s why all that was hidden needs to come to light. So that we can see it, and liberate it. We’re ready for it.

Hugs, my friend. Just keep on keeping on!

Love, always, 🙏💖

Mony

#monydojeiji #consciousness #walkingforpeace #love #judgment #labels #peace #innerworld #healing #transformation #onlyloveisreal #awakening #lightworkers #violence #lightandlove

Ho'oponopono

One of my favorite practices for transforming fear is called Ho’oponopono, an ancient teaching from the Hawaiian shamans used to resolve conflicts within the tribe, especially recurring ones. It has been modified over the years, and its modern teachers, led by Dr. Hew Len, now focus on the individual doing the work of liberating their inner conflicts and, in so doing, liberating that energy in the collective because we are all connected. We are all energy, vibration. What we liberate in ourselves, we liberate in the world.

The premise of the teaching is that:

I am Divine. That is my true nature. In my Soul's journey, I have accumulated fears and traumas which cover up - like a veil - the true nature of what I am. Ho'oponopono is a means of liberating the veils that prevent the Light and Love that I am from manifesting fully in the world;

I am the projector, or source, of the experiences in my life, placing out in my physical world (often subconsciously) deeply-rooted beliefs, programs and memories, which often show up in the form of difficult people and situations, so that I may finally see them and heal/transform them;

I am, therefore, 100% responsible for the situations in my life;

These people and situations trigger emotions within me which take me off-balance and force me to react, often without thinking;

To be at peace and One with my Creator - to remove the veil that is covering that Oneness - my work is to liberate those deeply-ingrained memories and programs;

So, to heal my outside world, I must first heal my inside world.

In working with this teaching for many years now, I have added my personal lens to make it fit my philosophy of life. I have come to understand that the difficult experiences of my life that repeat themselves are not there to torture me, but to give me yet another opportunity to heal them. They are my own soul’s crying out for liberation from its self-inflicted pain. They come from the highest place of love to serve me in my journey of liberation from fears or limits of any kind. Without the difficult people and situations, I wouldn't be able to see my harmful thoughts, beliefs and emotions. They would remain forever inside me, veils that obscure the Divine Light that I am and that prevent me from being at peace.

This is all inner work. This is inner liberation. And Love is the greatest liberator.

That is why the first words in Ho’oponopono are:

I love you.

I say those words to myself first. I am giving this love to me. The obsessive, fear-filled self-talk can go on endlessly, but the moment I say “Mony, I love you, exactly as you are with all your fears and perceived failings,” I open a space for a new energy to circulate within me.

I repeat the words “I love you” over and again, until I begin to feel a calm wash over me.

“I’m not sure where this fear comes from, at what moment I chose from fear rather than from love, whether it originated in this lifetime or another; but that doesn’t matter. It’s here. It’s a part of me that I see, that I accept, that I love.

Mony, I love you as you are.

I’m sorry for whatever I have done or thought to create this fear within me. I am sorry for any erroneous or mistaken belief, thought, feeling or emotion within me that has manifested in this difficult experience I’m now dealing with.

Please forgive me.

I didn’t know how else to respond. I didn’t know how else to feel or to think. I didn’t know any better. I did the best that I knew how at that moment. But it’s all right. I’m learning. I’m growing. I’m bound to make mistakes. When I know better, I’ll do better.

Mony, I love you.”

This self-forgiveness is a key tenet of the teaching. Again, I’m speaking to myself. I’m not asking God or any power outside of me for forgiveness because, in my belief system, God is Love and does not need that I ask for forgiveness. I am loved as I am. But from a sense of not knowing any better, I direct myself - with a humble heart - towards God Love and I do apologize for my errors in thinking. I know I am already and always forgiven, but I personally like to do this part. 

In the beginning, I found it difficult and uncomfortable to speak to myself in this way. It didn’t feel good or natural to give myself so much love and forgiveness. How telling!

With time and practice, however, I began to feel compassion for myself and to see myself as a child who needs understanding, patience and a great deal of love as they journey in their life. In fact, I now envision myself as the loving adult speaking to the wounded child, and speak to this child as I repeat the words. I have, over time, begun to soften my stance towards myself, to be less demanding and harsh in my judgments of myself.

Thank you.

This is the final element of the teaching.

“Thank you, fear, for revealing yourself to me.

Thank you, person or situation, for taking on that role so that I may see my fear and buried memories.

Thank you, deeply-ingrained memories! I can now see you!

Thank you, Spirit/Higher Self  (the wisest, most eternal part of me) for bringing this fear to my attention.

Thank you me (Mony) for demonstrating the willingness and courage to explore and transform your deepest fears; and to continue advancing on this amazing and sometimes scary adventure in the unknown that is life. You deserve my highest admiration and respect, Mony. I love you! Thank you!

I now direct all my attention to the Divine, called by many names, but that to me is Love. I say:

Thank you, my Creator, for the opportunity to heal this, to free myself of this weight in my heart, my body, my emotions, my thoughts. I offer it all to you.

Thank you for transforming these dense energies within me back to their natural state, which is Light. Thank you for correcting my errors in thinking. I know that only You can see back to the place and moment when I chose erroneously. Only You can heal it all at the source. Only You can liberate me and all involved. Thank you!

Thank you for the peace that now fills my heart and mind. Thank you for revealing this Light that I am - that You are - now that this veil of fear has been lifted from me. 

Thank you for the opportunity to see this Light that I am - that we are - and to shine it fully.

Thank you for liberating all energetic ties with those who may have contributed to this fear from the beginning of creation to the end of all time. With great love and thanks, I allow them to continue their journey while I continue mine. I am free. We are free.

I accept Your healing. I accept Your Mind. I accept Your Will.

I accept the Light and Love that I am.

I am finally free!

My inner world is now safe and in harmony.

In my inner world, all is healed, whole and holy.

I am healed, whole and holy.

In that knowing, I walk world with confidence and openness.

With heart and mind open, I listen to and act on what is mine to do.

In every sacred moment, I offer/extend this inner harmony and peace to the world.

I am one with You, always.

I am one with all of creation.

Thank you.”

By loving myself, by feeling worthy of that Love, by forgiving myself for choosing poorly (i.e. from fear rather than love), by accepting that I am forgiven, and giving thanks for the healing of what has kept me small and fear-filled, I am finally free to walk the world fear-less.

If remnants of the fear - or any other emotion - creep back in, then I repeat the key elements of this practice, not necessarily word for word or in the same order, but always striving for the feeling of liberation and inner peace, always striving for the feeling of Oneness and non-separation from my Creator. It makes me feel well-accompanied on this journey of inner liberation. I have trained myself to have the words "I love you" and "thank you" running like a loop in the back of my mind at all times, and have found it incredibly empowering, a means of keeping me close to Spirit.

It’s a practice that has consistently worked for me, and that I encourage you to try.

There is no formal website for this teaching, but you can Google Dr. Len Hew, the modern founder of this teaching. You can also look for Dr. Joe Vitale and his book "Zero Limits" or Mabel Katz for their teachings.

With blessings,
Mony

P.S. I am a Certified Ho'oponopono Practitioner, and it is one of the many tools in my spiritual toolkit that I draw upon when consulting with clients.

Healer, Heal Thyself

Mony Dojeiji reflection on healing

If there is nothing out there, then who is out there to heal?

I have pondered this question often, and have hesitated sharing my reflections because I have friends and family who are healers in all fields – medical, psychological, spiritual – and it is terrain that I respect and honour.

When I began my journey of awakening, I read everything related to healing. I was studying to go to medical school, even though it wasn’t really my passion or calling. But I had an interest in the human body, which led me to exploring what healing and wholeness means beyond the domain of the physical body.

As I understood that we are essentially energy, I began working with energy, directing it through me into my hands to whoever requested it. I was always clear, however, that I was merely the conduit and that the Energy (which I understood to be Love) knew exactly what it needed to do. My only role was to allow it to flow, as openly and purely as possible, unobstructed by my expectations and ideas about healing.

But as my own spiritual practice deepened, and as I began to understand that what I was seeing in my world was a PROJECTION of my inner world onto the screen of my life, I began to ask that difficult question:

If I’m the source of what’s in my experience, then what is this person with illness (cancer, diabetes, disorders, trauma, etc.) doing in my life?

Where is this projection coming from? And why?

To look within ME as the SOURCE of the “sick people” in my life shook me to the core and was a radical shift in my thinking because it was suggesting that:

The person in my life with cancer? I put them there.

The person with severe anxiety and trauma? I put them there.

The person who only spoke of illness and disease? I put them there.

It felt ridiculous to even consider that I would be putting these people in my life, in my experience. Why would I do that? What possible motive could I have?

To acknowledge, let alone accept and take 100% responsibility for this, has been a journey all its own!

Every so slowly, however, I began to unravel their purpose – their loving purpose – and the incredible gift these individuals were offering me, simply by showing up in my life.

They are the agents through which I am able to see and free the pain inside me.

And in liberating myself, I liberate them.

The deeply-rooted traumas, beliefs, programs, memories that I have around health and wholeness and WHO I AM are buried in my subconscious – way beyond the reach of my everyday mind.

When I feel afraid, impatient, dismissive, judgmental, distant, withholding, filled with tragedy – the range of emotions that show up when I’m with those individuals – that’s my clue that these subconscious programs are knocking on the door of my heart and asking to be freed. To be whole. To be returned to Love.

These individuals have taken on the loving task of showing me all the blockages to wholeness that exist within me, so that I may love them (the blockages) free.

And there is nothing in this Universe that I can Love free that isn’t freed everywhere.

Because we are all connected. We are all One.

Is there anything more loving that I can do to honour the precious gift of their presence - their True Self - than to do the inner work of healing the trauma at its source, which is within me?

That, to me, is how Love – and healing – works.

It’s a big task, for it requires me to be constantly in the present moment, aware of – and completely accepting of – whoever shows up in my experience.

If I see news about someone with cancer or any other illness, I am already clearing within me.

If I meet someone who tells me of their difficulties (physical, mental, emotional, spiritual), I’m clearing.

When someone comes to see me for a personal session, I’m clearing before I even see them.

I’m clearing within ME (in my subconscious mind) whatever has brought them into my experience, whatever binds us in less-than-wholeness. I do this work in the silence of my heart, and in connection with Spirit.

When I am with this person – if I need to be with them at all – I am fully present. I know my spaces are filled with Love. And that the energies that need to come through me at the moment – be they in words or in stillness – are Perfect.

That's the only healing work I do today. There is nothing out there.

Can you imagine what would happen if we all did this within ourselves for the “sick” people in our lives? If all healers did this inner work before even seeing a patient? Would the patients even still be sick?

So many questions to ponder… and revelations to be made on this journey.

Love, always. 🙏💞
Mony

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#monydojeiji #walkingforpeace #consciousness #healing #healer #nothingoutthere #love

What can I Do to Support an Arising Consciousness?

What can I do to support this arising consciousness of Love in our politics, our economics, our world, ourselves?

It’s a question I ask myself often, especially as we here in Canada and the U.S. enter an election season where it’s easy to be swayed by all the emotional turbulence. The response, without fail, is usually:

Stop judging!

Stop judging the person. The situation. The emotions they evoke in you. Your thoughts.

Better yet, stay in a field of Love, and extend that field out to people you strongly disagree with, and situations that are beyond your control.

Oh, is that all?! LOL

Sure, it’s easy to extend Love in meditation or prayer, but how do you do that when interacting with the world?

That is, by far, the greatest challenge of my spiritual journey. It’s also the most rewarding when I manage to do it, even for a few moments.

I don’t have an easy answer, but I do have one practice that I consistently go to that keeps me anchored in Love.

As I go about my day, in the back of my mind, I have trained myself to repeat the words:

THANK YOU. I LOVE YOU.

Over and over and over again.

It’s like a non-stop record. I repeat both phrases – or just one – upon waking, in the shower, when I’m driving, before I go into a meeting, before I speak or write. I especially repeat them before, during and after the news!

Who am I saying them to? No one. And every one!

To myself. To the Universal Consciousness. To my family. Passersby. The cashier. The barista. The coffee. The trees. The sun. The sky. The rain. The earth. My feet. My body. My eyes. The sidewalk. The room. The buildings. The city. The country. The car. The person who cuts me off. The helpers and the builders. The deniers and the dividers. The lovers and the haters. The emotions (anger, fear, sadness, disbelief) that are still there even as I write these words. The thoughts of futility that still interject themselves.

To ALL of it, I say:

THANK YOU. I LOVE YOU.

Along with deep breathing, these words bring me a sense of deep calm: mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. A sense that all is OK. When I do speak, I feel I am speaking from a place of greater inspiration. When I do act, it feels like I’m doing exactly what I need to do in that moment. I feel less rushed, more in flow, more connected to that field of Love and Wisdom, confident that it’s doing its thing through me and that all is Perfect.

Yes, I still get angry. I still lose my patience. I still judge. But I also get back to that field of Love a lot more quickly than I ever used to.

If each one of us was able to do this, imagine the transformations that would take place within us: in our minds, hearts and spirits. Imagine how those ripples of energy would change our world.

May these words serve you in your journeys. I’d love to hear what you do to also stay in consciousness.

Shine on!
Mony

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Art by A. Wyron on unsplash.com.

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#monydojeiji #walkingforpeace #consciousness #love #politics #loveinpolitics #peace #lightworkers #dailypractice #thankyou #iloveyou #gratitude #hooponopono #iamawake

Inquiry into MMIWG - Healing the Soul of a Nation

Digital Art by Janelle Richardson

Last week in Canada, the National Inquiry into Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women and Girls (MMIWG) presented its report to Canadian government officials. This Inquiry was set up to understand why indigenous women are so disproportionately affected by violence, why so many go missing or are murdered, and why the justice system has failed them at every turn. They called the events a genocide.

I watched the presentation, and felt witness to a watershed moment in Canadian history. When faced with painful Truth, I’ve observed that the mind either denies and attacks, or bows to the calling of the heart to heal. Those who immediately focused on the word “genocide”, arguing whether its use was legal or correct, showed they were incapable of bowing to that call to heal, yet. Their hearts aren’t ready.

But I believe the vast majority of Canadians are ready. They simply don’t know how.

We are a good, kind and decent people, who try to do the right thing, so it’s difficult for us to conceive of this happening in our own country; that our own elected officials and the laws they enacted enabled this. But until we are willing to acknowledge what happened, and the well of emotions this Truth has now evoked, then we will perpetuate this trauma and inhibit our ability to move forward as this great united nation we claim ourselves to be. It is a deep, painful, collective memory we all share. It is in our collective psyche as Canadians.

But it can be healed. It can be transformed, and become powerful wisdom to guide us forward as a nation. It takes courage, which I know we have. Our courage to do this work will liberate us and all involved from this trauma. It is only then that creative, inspired solutions for reparations can be considered. Only then can we become the “True North, strong and free.”

We have before us an opportunity (and obligation, I feel) to heal the soul of a country harmed by actions inspired by ignorance and fear, and power exercised without wisdom or compassion.

This is all inner work, which means we each have the power to do this. Now, we only have to be willing. :-)

What can I do? That’s usually the question. I didn’t do anything. I wasn’t here when all this happened. The government has the report. They’ll work on the laws and policies that need changing. They’ll pay whatever needs to be paid.

But reconciliation has nothing to do with money. This is not a financial matter, but an emotional, mental and spiritual one. We each have a role to play to liberate these energies within us.

How do we do this? What I share with you now is the inner work that I'm doing, what I'm saying to myself:

I take 100% responsibility for having this shared memory in my psyche. I may not have personally committed these acts, but I take responsibility for the fact that they happened in my country, in my history, by officials elected by me or my ancestors to create laws and policies that represented my values as a Canadian.

I take responsibility for the suffering they inflicted, despite the fact that this “was the accepted thinking of the time.”

I take responsibility for every mother, sister, aunt, daughter and child murdered or missing as a result of these laws. I take responsibility for all that they could have been… and never were.

I take responsibility for every disparaging thought and judgment I’ve had about indigenous people. I take responsibility for every moment I walked past anyone in need or looked the other way.

I take responsibility for the depth of emotions this has evoked in me, and wanting to bury them or ignore them.

That is my part in all of this.

Until we can see each and every one of these women as OUR FAMILY, our beloveds, then we will not grasp the heart calling to make this right.

I cannot change what was, but I have it within me to change what is… WITHIN ME.

These words I speak right now:

* To every emotion * running through me right now, from guilt, shame, horror, rage, disbelief, denial, helplessness…I see you. I see each and every one of you. This Inquiry is allowing me to see you, and for that, I say thank you for showing yourself to me. You are in me, so you are my emotions, no one else’s. I take responsibility for you, and say I am sorry. I love you. Thank you for the chance to liberate you. Thank you for the opportunity to be at peace, to have the chambers of my heart filled with peace. Thank you for the opportunity to now bring this peace into the world as inspired action, inspired words, inspired thoughts.

* To this memory * buried in my psyche that I share with all Canadians – a memory that is within me because I am Canadian – I say I’m sorry. I’m sorry that you are in me, in my country, in its people, in my land. Please forgive me, and all those who acted in my name, who had a hand in creating you. I know you don’t want to remain this heavy, dark shadow within me, lurking and unseen. You want to be in the light too. You want to be free. You want to shine. Thank you for the opportunity to free you, to bring you healing, to bring you peace. I see you. I love you.

I know I am connected to every other Canadian and human being on this planet and, in doing this work, I am not only freeing you within me, but doing my part to free you inside each and every person who has this memory in them too. In Canada, and around the world.

* To each and every indigenous * woman, girl and all her relations… to every victim… I am sorry for the pain that we inflicted upon you. I am sorry for all the wrong that we did to you. I’m sorry that we didn’t know any better. Without even realizing it, in harming you, we were also harming ourselves. We were losing our humanity. Please forgive us.

* My Creator *, I know I don’t need to ask your forgiveness because I am always loved, but I am sorry for my part in having this memory within me. I didn’t know any better. We didn’t know any better. I alone can’t do this work of transforming and liberating this trauma. I know you seek our highest good, and our continued growth into ever-greater versions of Love. I love you.

Thank you for liberating this memory within me, and all who may harbour it, in this country or another, this lifetime or another.

Thank you for this opportunity to grow in wisdom, love and compassion. Thank you the opportunity to apply this wisdom and love in service to all Canadians, to care for all, love all, and serve all, so that we may move forward as “the True North, strong and free” that we truly are.

Love is the most powerful force in the Universe and, with Love lighting the way, this is done.

And so it is. 💖🙏💖
~Mony

***
Image by digital artist Janelle Richardson. She’s a member of the Little Salmon Carmacks First Nation and was born in Whitehorse, Y.T.to the parents Dorothy Washpan and Alvin Washpan. She was separated from her other 4 sisters who were all part of the 60's scoop era. She currently resides in the State of Georgia where she earned a Bachelors. Her youngest sister Tina Washpan a.k.a. Cindy Burke was one of the MMIWG of the Yukon. She dedicates this logo to her sister Tina, whom she never had the opportunity to meet, but will forever be in Janelle's heart.

***
#monydojeiji #consciousness #walkingforpeace #peace #love #reconciliation#MMIWG #Canada #Canadian #healing #transformation #trauma#loveistheonlytruth #wisdom #indigenous #truth #bigtruth

Making Peace - the way of Ho'oponopono

For those of us on the path of unfolding Spirit, it may at times feel as if the world of Spirit and the world we witness are indeed worlds apart. The divide appears to be expanding, with few means of bridging or reconciling that separation.

How can we live in the world, and love it?

In this talk at Unity Spiritual Centre Ottawa, I share some thoughts on how to do just that.

It all begins within.

~Mony







* * *

#monydojeiji #walkingforpeace #consciousness #ho'oponopono #peace #innerpeace #iloveyou #iamsorry #pleaseforgiveme #thankyou #love #weareone #speaker

Courage over Fear

It is in these moments of despair and outrage that I believe we are called to choose from the deepest place of love within us.

And that requires courage…

To stand for what we believe, unswayed by all that we see.

To declare another way, one that begins with me.

To BE the helpers, the builders, the change-makers, the way-showers, the light-workers.

Let it begin with me.

~Mony


#consciousness #love #courage #lightworkers #faith #lovetrumpsall #light #loveandlight  #loveoverfear #walkthetalk

Mony Moment: Life Lesson Learned from Helping Others

I was raised with the teaching that you always help those in need, especially your family and close friends. That, of course, included giving them money if they needed it.

I have recently had to revisit the wisdom of that teaching.

Many years ago, I loaned a sum of money to individuals who were like family to me. I didn’t formalize the loan with any legal documents, and trusted in their word and integrity to pay it back.

It came as a slap in the face to be told that, not only could they not pay back the loan, but that they considered what I had given them to be a gift.

I’ve spent the last few months doing a lot of inner work (especially self-forgiveness and Ho’oponopono) to deal with the anger, the betrayal and the humiliation. I’ve felt stupid, naïve and, above all else, terribly wounded.

Of course, I’ve taken legal action; but those of you who follow my writings know that I try to look upon these situations from the lens of Spirit, and to use them as opportunities for growth on all levels.

It would be easy to stay in the role of victim, and not examine my contributions, no matter how unconscious, to this drama. When I can finally come to the place of stillness and non-judgment, I begin to see that, perhaps, I created this scenario so that, at the highest levels, I expand my understanding of what it means to help another.

I believed I was doing the right thing by helping. I believed I was being understanding and compassionate.

But was I being wise?

I understand now that I wasn’t.

In my rush to fix my friends’ money problems and not see them suffer, I neglected to ask myself whether giving money would truly solve the deeper questions of their lives that they needed to address.

In my rush to be a saviour, helper and good friend, I neglected to see them as wise individuals capable of finding creative solutions to their self-made problems. I didn’t give them the chance to make difficult, values-based decisions, or to flex their problem-solving muscles.

Without meaning to, I disempowered them.

All parents understand this lesson well. It’s easy to step in and do everything for our children, but we know that in so doing, we take away their power to develop those all-important abilities to rationalize, to intuit, to reach beyond their known limits. There is power in the struggle, in the wrestling with ideas and feelings, in the arriving to a more confident place of understanding and wisdom.

But I didn’t have that wisdom then… :-)

Now, before offering to help or fix a situation, with money or time, I ask myself:

Why am I doing this? Are my actions in service to the highest within me? Within them? Or am I simply assuaging my guilt?

Do my actions empower them, or keep them as victims?

How am I seeing them? As incapable and in-need? Or fully capable and creative beings?

These are not easy questions to answer, for they force ME to wrestle and struggle with what I believe and with who I am as an individual.

But isn’t that what we’re all ultimately here for?

One of the techniques that has helped me move on from this situation, and gain a measure of peace, is a practice popularized by the Christian mystic Emmett Fox. It goes something like this:

“I now affirm and acknowledge the presence of Divine Truth, and only Truth, in them, in me and in this situation. It is the only consciousness at work. It arises in them and me, standing in full dominion, giving us each the courage to act with wisdom and love, rather than fear. And through Divine Power and Intelligence, I know that this situation is resolving itself for the highest good of all. I choose now to only allow those energies to manifest and be at play. A higher mind than mine is now working here, and I allow it to do its work.”

Or something like that, it depends on the moment!

The point is to only allow that consciousness, that energy, those words to permeate my thinking at all times.

I don’t always pull it off; but, when I do, I feel a tremendous power within me. I feel as if I’m not alone on this path, and that I am healing us and this situation on levels I can’t even begin to imagine.

Above all, I feel that I have honoured the spiritual path I am walking, to the best of my abilities today and now.

I hope this experience serves you in your life journeys.
Much love,
Mony

Ho'oponopono and Money

Alberto and I have made a bet on this work that we are doing, this sharing of ourselves with the world and pouring as much love and light into every expression that may take (books, paintings, blogs, etc.).  We can’t imagine ourselves being or doing anything else.

But every once in a while, when I see the bills of our publishing endeavor or look at the many little things we’d like to fix up around our house, I become anxious and worry about whether this path we have chosen will sustain us. It sustains us emotionally, spiritually, mentally… but my impatience demands that I see it sustain us economically! Despite all that I know and have lived and practiced, these fears still pop up…

That consciousness of lack has manifested in some interesting experiences. The details don’t matter as much as what they have inspired in reflections. The first thing I immediately do is accept responsibility for this consciousness within me. I certainly don’t condemn it or push it away because it’s coming from me. And, if it is in my experience, I have put it there to show me something within me, be it a fear or energy or misunderstood thought pattern…something of a lower vibration within me which is revealing itself to me to be seen, to be acknowledged, to be wrapped in love, to be brought back to the light that it is. This is the teaching of Ho’oponopono that I love so much.

And so I begin my personal meditation, allowing whatever words to pour through:

“Mony, I love you. I’m not sure how this energy lodged itself within your fields, what you thought, did or felt that put that energy there but it’s OK. Mony I love.

I’m sorry. Please forgive me, Mony.

Thank you, this energy of fear of not-having-enough, of having-your-work/livelihood-taken-from you, of being-left-with-nothing… all of this fear, I see you. Thank you for revealing yourself to me in my experiences lately. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to bring you back to your natural state, to the light of abundance that you are, to the eternal energy of plentitude that rules the earth and the Universe. Master, envelop this energy in your love, in your golden aura. Violet flame of transmutation, add your flame, your energy to bring back to light all what has temporarily forgotten its nature.

Light fills my physical body, reminding every cell of its Divine nature, of its Divine plan and purpose.

Light fills my energy field, my emotional body, my astral body, my mental body, my temple… Light dominates my vibration. I vibrate in the Light. I am Light. I am Love pouring through every crevice of the creation that I am. I am the Christ consciousness, incarnate. The Christ, the I AM, dwells within every aspect of me and rules my every movement, conscious and unconscious, my every thought, my every deed and word. I know no lack.

I only know infinitude. I only know plentitude. In this plentitude, the gates burst open and the waves of light long trapped by fear deluge forth. The dams have burst open leaving in their wake the spreading expanse of ever-more light, ever-more grace, ever-more beauty through this beloved creation called Mony.

Rest in our arms, beloved, for you are well tended and held.”

I don’t know where these words come from, but they sustain me and leave me weeping with gratitude.

Driving the Camino - is it still pilgrimage?

I will readily admit that I’m a stickler for being on time. I don’t mind if others are late, but I need to be on time. When we make plans to leave at a certain hour, to me, we are leaving at that time, give or take fifteen minutes. That was why surrender and trust were so difficult for me initially on the Camino and, later, on our walking pilgrimage to Jerusalem. With time and persistence, I have learned to follow my own inner callings and the omens that have presented themselves to me, trusting that I will always arrive at the perfect time - which is not necessarily my time. And despite my many failings in applying this day-to-day, I continue to commit myself to the effort.

Alberto and I had decided to drive the Camino frances, leaving copies of our Spanish book, along with bookmarks, in all the major albergues along the way. Our plan was to leave at 10:00AM, along the Spanish route 66 (the Via de la Plata) to Salamanca.  

So, you can imagine how I was feeling when it was close to 11:00AM and the car was still not packed. As hard as I tried to remind myself to simply let go of my need to be on time, I couldn’t, and only grew more agitated. It didn’t help matters that I felt that I was running around preparing everything while Alberto was on the computer doing I didn’t know what... but it didn’t matter, because he wasn’t helping me!

One sarcastic comment brought out another, and the next thing we knew, we were arguing. Alberto and I generally don’t argue, but this time, it got heated and fast. At least we had the wits to each step away to regain their composure. We quietly packed up the car and drove to the gas station in icy silence. With tank filled and coffee in hand, we were ready to start. When I glanced at the time, it was 11:11AM. I finally paused, and took a deep breath, acknowledging this tap on the shoulder I was receiving from the heavens. The first element of any pilgrimage is letting go of control, and being in flow with the rhythm of the Camino. Even though we were in a car, we were still along a sacred route, and all such routes are walked with open minds, and even more open, hearts.

In the moment I realized this and surrendered, everything flowed. We had no plans, no agenda, no hotel rooms booked. We didn’t know exactly where we were going, just that we were on the Way, and that our task now was to be present, and attentive to our intuition and surroundings.

Our first stop was historic, spectacular Salamanca. Alberto had gone to high school there, in a residence that prepared young men for seminary. He never made it to seminary, but the city clearly had woven its spell, as he showed us all the places he had known, including his residence. We walked streets forged by history, and entered monuments that testified to the balance of the minds and hearts that created them. We enjoyed too many pintxos. We followed the yellow arrows and Camino shells near the Cathedral, and found the albergue, the pilgrim shelter, open to those pilgrims braving the July heat to make it here. We introduced Sylvana to the pilgrim world here, trying to make real for her the many stories we had told her of our adventures along it.

We continued eastwards towards Roncesvalles, stopping first in Viloria de Rioja to visit our pilgrim friends Acacio and Orietta. Even in car, it was hard not to be mesmerized by the scenery: the rolling fields, the lush landscape, the medieval towns that peeked out from the hillside, or the endless Roman bridges that we crossed. The modern and the ancient in perfect harmony. 

As we drove, we tried to paint a picture for Sylvana of pilgrims in ancient times, walking long distances, following a calling to see the tomb of the apostle St. James in Santiago (or, in the case of prisoners, to have their sentences commuted). There were no yellow arrows then, no well-marked paths. There was the danger of being robbed, even killed, by bandits. For this, we explained, the Templars (as exemplified by Tomas in Manjarin) began accompanying pilgrims and building refugios (or refuge) along the way. Some pilgrims became very ill or infested with disease, and could not continue. For this, the hospitals were built, and the hospitaleros tended to the sick and ailing, not only in body, but in spirit as well. Perhaps, the pilgrims found love along the way, and decided to settle in one place rather than continue walking. For these, and so many more reasons, many pilgrims never made it to Santiago. That was why la Puerta del Perdon in Villafranca del Bierzo was so important because if they could make it here, it was as if they had made it to Santiago.

We walked the medieval bridges and entered the castle walls. She donned a knight’s helmet and carried a sword. She met pilgrims and hospitaleros, young and old, speaking languages indistinguishable from her own, and yet united in a spirit that propelled them to pilgrimage. She shared a pilgrim meal in more than one refugio, and slept among them in Viloria de Rioja, witnessing the daily ritual of pilgrimage. She began to wish complete strangers a buen camino, even though watching her mom yelling it from the car to passing pilgrims was “just so embarrassing”! 

Despite her resistance and complaints, we know we touched her. At nine years old, she will never admit to this, of course, since her parents cannot possibly be so cool. But, one night, still in deep sleep, she called out my name and only said, “Mom, adventures really are a lot of fun,” before giving me an angelic smile and falling back to sleep. I couldn’t agree more.

* ~* ~ *

The Way of the Sword, as the Camino is known, also wielded its power, revealing a wound that I had not realized still existed. And it chose Sylvana as the teacher.

Our daughter, like her parents, loves her food. At times, it feels as if she’s inhaling it all without even tasting it. And as we ate in restaurants every day, and watched all our waistlines expand, we began to once again enforce some limits, cutting back on ice cream and dessert, while controlling portion size – for all of us. Her resistance was great, with every meal an ordeal for all.

Since I believe that every experience in my reality is there for my own healing, I began to consistently clean my own energy around this issue using Ho’oponopono, which I’ve written about before. This kind of work brings out many emotions. One night, I confessed to Sylvana that when I was her age (and into my adolescent years), my parents restricted my food too, and kept telling me not to eat so much because I was getting fat. I grew up very conscious of my body and weight, never quite accepting it, let alone loving it. I told her that my deepest fear was that she would grow up, like me, having a poor body image, not loving herself or her body, and trying to change it into some ideal that could never be. In speaking those words to her, I felt as if it was my own inner child speaking of her pain, making itself visible to me through this experience with Sylvana, so that I may heal it. I felt as the child in that situation, and she the adult as she patiently and intently listened to me.

“Mom, I’m sorry that your parents treated you that way,” she lovingly said, touching my hand. “But I promise you that I love my body and will never look at it in that way.”

Something lifted in me then, a deep unburdening of a heaviness that I never even realized I carried. Now, back in Canada, we are also back to our healthier meals. We still get resistance, but our energy around it is very different. We respond from a place of love, rather than frustration. We are more patient rather than militant in our approach. Because I see myself in her, I speak and act from a more compassionate place than ever before. I don’t do it perfectly, and I slip up often because I don’t want to handle the arguments... but every day, I get better at responding from that new place and, with ever greater love, guiding her towards choices that hopefully feed not only her body, but that nourish her soul.
 

* ~* ~ *

The closer we got to Santiago, the more that we began to see larger groups of pilgrims, mostly students and young adults; and to better understand why some hospitaleros consider them “tourigrinos”, and the Camino a cheap vacation for many. It is true that there are more private hostels, restaurants and services than ever before for the pilgrim. And that there are many cyclists and pilgrims with only a limited time who want to hurry through the Camino to get to Santiago.

This, of course, brings up the question of what is an “authentic” pilgrim, and what makes a pilgrimage a true spiritual quest rather than simply a hike, or a cultural or culinary adventure? Does our driving the Camino make it less of a quest for expansion or reconnection?

Source: unknown

The moment I let go of my need to control being on time, I felt we were on pilgrimage. We were present, in tune with our surroundings, following omens or wisps of intuition, allowing ourselves to be guided by the Way rather than by our ideas or plans. If we believe that there is a special energy on this path, an energy drawn from the stars, that has led pilgrims since time immemorial to follow this path -- a path of continual death and rebirth -- to its ending point in Finisterre, the end of the world, then why should this energy be any different to those who walk, bike, drive or take the train? This path traced by the stars was there long before the first pilgrim walked it, or even perceived it...and will be there long after the last pilgrim takes her last step there.

Perhaps being in rapid motion, such as when driving or biking, doesn’t necessarily attune you to the Camino’s energy; perhaps it doesn’t give your body, your soul, time to connect with the soul of the Camino at a profound level. But I am convinced that the Camino is continually transmitting its energy, sharing its wisdom with all those who have spiritual ears to hear and open hearts to receive. The transmitter is perhaps stronger than the receiver, but that doesn’t mean the receiver is getting nothing at all.

What’s at play, it seems to me, is our expectations of what it takes to be a “perfect pilgrim". But isn’t that true of all expectations? I don’t think the Camino cares which way the pilgrim chooses to experience it. To walk the Camino is to walk the path of your life. To open yourself to the unexpected, to the gifts showered upon us by a loving Universe. Those are the steps that build the camino of our lives. We get to practice them more intensely on the Spanish Camino. We get to receive these gifts at a deep, spiritual level, so that we may live them more easily in our daily lives.

This is not an energy that dissipates with time, either. It is like the sun. Just because we don’t appreciate its power, or its gifts of illumination and transformation, it doesn’t stop shining or shine less brilliantly. The same with the Camino.

Those who dedicate their lives to the Camino are, to me, expressing their love for the Camino, for its gifts rendered. Yes, they are outwardly serving the pilgrims who walk it, but inwardly I believe that they serve a greater master. They serve this beautiful energy which animates and gives life to the Camino. Their work, their service, their offerings, is their ode to the Camino, their expression of love and gratitude.

And so long as the love given and received is in celebration of this energy that permeates the Camino and makes it what it is... little does it matter what kind of pilgrim walks it or how they choose to experience it. Those who serve, are serving the Master in the Heart, the one who is communion with the Soul and Energy of the Camino, the one who manifests and expresses Its Essence through loving service to others. There is no greater calling than to be of service to Love, and those who dedicate their lives to this path hold my deepest thanks.

* ~* ~ *

Finally, it is said that we all find romance on the Camino. My romance didn't exactly happen on the Camino, but its seeds were planted there. In Finisterre, in fact, at the end of the world. There, for one afternoon, sitting on a boulder overlooking the Atlantic, I met a Spanish pilgrim named Alberto. I didn't speak Spanish. He didn't speak English. I explained to him, through an interpreter friend, about my plans to walk to Jerusalem. He congratulated me, and then we each went our separate ways.

Nothing could have prepared me for seeing him again, four months later, as I was making my way to Rome to begin walking. He would later join me on my walk, and the rest.... well, that story fills an entire book! :-)

We could not help but stop in Finisterre to end this pilgrimage by car, and take a few moments to appreciate this great gift that the Camino had granted us. On a day brimming with rain and pilgrims, we chose a boulder and sat to contemplate the infinite horizon. When Alberto took my hand in his, I knew exactly the words that I wanted to say. They flowed from my heart, and spilled out in tears of gratitude that mingled with Alberto's. We gave thanks for the ten years of marriage, and the many more to come. It was a magical moment to end a truly unforgettable pilgrimage.

Buen camino!