Thursday, February 23, 2017

Would I feel intense love if my husband and child were not in my life?

"Do you think you could feel the love you experience with your husband and child if they were not part of your life today?"

I was asked that question a while ago and, after some reflection, gave this response.

When I was younger, I believed that love was all about giving, and making other people happy.

I didn’t realize until adulthood that I was giving so much love in an attempt to receive a love I never felt for myself.

My parents demonstrated their love for me by encouraging me to excel in all aspects of my life.

Which I did.

But it also instilled in me the feeling that I was never quite good enough, and that I had to keep giving (love, time, effort) in order to have love and security.

The collapse of my (first) marriage revealed how little love I had for myself, but set me firmly on the path of inner exploration, and of looking inwards to fill myself with whatever I was seeking in others.

My commitment to that path would eventually see me abandoning the life I had built to embark on my spiritual quests.

I would become great friends with my tormentors (i.e. my fears), and would learn to wield Love in the most powerful of ways to heal and transform that wounded child into a whole human being.

Now, as to whether I would feel the love that I do for Alberto and Sylvana if they weren’t in my life… I don’t know.

I do know that my journey of love mastery would never cease.

As for Alberto, my love for him - from pilgrim partners to parents - over the last fifteen years has evolved.

What is fundamental in our relationship is the understanding that the spiritual journey of each is paramount; and that we are here to support each other in THAT journey, to see the fears, to heal the hurts, to choose from a place of love rather than a place of fear.

It is beyond romantic love and companionship.

It is an understanding that we are independent souls, sharing this journey together, walking together… and that we don’t need each other.

The greatest love I can offer him is to let him walk his path, even that means I need to be alone.

With Sylvana, our love for her has also evolved from simply protecting her and caring for her needs, to planting in her the seeds of self-confidence and self-love so that she may continue growing into the fullness of who she is and what she has come here to experience as a free soul.

She also naturally tends to peace-making (me) with a hint of perfectionism (Alberto).

Creating peace and offering the best of yourself to any task are important, but not if grounded in the fears of rejection or failure.

In trying to teach her the difference between choosing from love or fear, we are continually offered the beautiful opportunity ourselves to stand more firmly in love and to transform what still may be anchored in fear within us. It is a beautiful circle, a continual dance along the spiral of spiritual growth. It's been said before that our children are our greatest teachers, and she most surely is ours.

Love is a verb, with so many facets and nuances, and to love is the greatest journey of exploration we can ever embark on.


#love #family #consciousness #innerjourney #parenting #spirituality #Spirit #soullove #loveisallthereis #loveyourself 

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