At times finding the words to express what is happening on the inner planes is not only difficult but takes time. I need to reflect on the experience, try to give it some meaning, integrate its lesson into my ever-expanding concept of myself. Energies too need words, and words themselves carry energies, and it is to this process that I have been especially dedicated in these last weeks.
So what energies in me are trying to be expressed at this moment? They mostly have to do with authenticity, truth, moving into a place of knowing, to a place of alignment with the highest aspect of myself; that place where my highest wisdom—wisdom garnered through experiences in lifetime after lifetime—resides, in the throne of the highest self.
What is this highest self to which I refer? It is the me that exists beyond body and form, beyond space and time as we know it; the part of me that is eternal and that knows its essence to be Divinity, to be an aspect of God in expression. Some have called this the Higher Self, the inner Master, the Perfected Self, the Christ within, or the Christ Consciousness that dwells within man and of which man is made, but cloaked in physical form.
I’m trying to hear that Self, to know It, to communicate with it…that´s all!
This process has, of course, moved me into interesting territory. I’m not one who sits and meditates often. I prefer to go for a walk or perhaps practice yoga, which to me are also forms of connecting with that Higher aspect of myself. But lately, I have found myself sitting in stillness, usually in the evening after Sylvana has gone to bed, and trying to make that connection. I’m trying to clear my mind of preconceived notions of what that connection may feel like. I do feel a tingling in my fingertips, a warmth that emanates from the heart centre and outwards. I feel relaxed but attentive. I know then that I’m connecting. More and more, I receive thoughts and insights that I could never remember after my meditation, but that now I write down as they come to me. Perhaps I’ll share some of these with you in later entries.
In my most recent meditations, I have entered a state of stillness that I have never encountered before, a stillness of thoughts, of emotions, of being. I felt detached, but not uncaring. On the contrary, there was a certainty and a knowing that all was well. No thoughts entered. No feelings of fatigue or boredom, just a complete presence in the moment, a moment that lasted a long while. And in that moment, everything was perfect.
What I understood then was that this was the state of being I wanted to bring into the world—this connection in every moment with that Higher or Christ aspect of me, and this energy of assuredness and calm that it engendered. That is the energy that heals. That is the energy that creates. And that is the energy that wished to express itself in these days.
Connecting with that inner Master (mastery) and sharing that with the world (service) are what ultimately define my inner journey.