I’m back to writing after a couple of weeks off enjoying a glorious summer at the cottages of family and friends in Ontario and Quebec. I had been missing the beaches of Andalucía, but the lakes, forests and natural beauty that recently surrounded me more than made up for it. I’ll be sure to post some photos soon.
I left off the last entry sharing some of the comments I received regarding “my dilemma”: how to instill in our daughter the feelings of trust and safety without projecting onto her my fears. In the last weeks, I’ve spent a great deal of time reflecting on the roots of those fears, and could get into a lot of the “why” and “how” they got there; but I’ve done that work, and now wish to move away from them by finally bringing them in, healing and integrating them rather than rejecting them.
In one of my walks alone, along the forested trails near the cottage, I fell into an unexpected meditation. The words “Mony, I love you” came into my mind. I have worked with many healing techniques over the years, mostly with visualizing colours and projecting energies, but what naturally emerged in this case was Ho’oponopono, an ancient Hawaiian healing method. There is no official site for this teaching, but it has been popularized by Dr. Len Hew who has given interviews on the topic. I’ve given some links on the right, but you can also Google his name, along with SITH (Self Identity through Ho’oponopono).
The premise of the teaching is that I am 100% responsible for my creations; that what appears in my world is there because I have put it there, consciously or unconsciously; that thoughts aren’t so much the problem as the emotions, memories and energies that we attach to them; that these energies (such as fear) vibrate within me and attract a like energy through Law of Attraction.
So, to heal the outside, I have to first heal the inside.
I had a hard time with this in the beginning because I saw no end. Does that mean I’m responsible for the earthquakes around the world? For the revolutions? The famines? The droughts? Where does it end?
The teaching would say yes, but I’m not ready to go that far yet. I will tell you that I have applied it to more personal situations and conflicts, and have seen that it works. I have also added my personal lens to this teaching to make it fit my personal philosophy. To me, the difficult experiences that repeat themselves are not here to torture me, but to give me yet another opportunity to heal them. They are my soul’s crying out for liberation from its own self-inflicted pain. They come from the highest place of Love to serve me in my journey of liberation from fears or limits of any kind. The angels, the Masters, God, the Universe, Jesus, Buddha… they all guide me in that journey, bring me those opportunities (which I believe I agreed to before my birth); but the work of healing is mine alone. No one can free me but myself. And Self-love is the greatest liberator.
That is why the first words in Ho’oponopono are “I love you”. You are speaking to yourself. You are giving yourself love. The negative self-talk can go on endlessly, but the moment you can say “I love you” to yourself, as you are with all your perceived failings and flaws, a new energy begins to circulate within you and around you.
As I walked that day, I repeated those words over and again until I began to feel them, not just think them. Then came these words: “I’m not sure where this fear comes from, whether it originated in this lifetime or another; but that doesn’t matter. It’s here. It’s a part of me that I see, that I accept, that I love.”
“Mony, I love you as you are.”
“I’m sorry for whatever has caused this fear. I am sorry for any erroneous or mistaken belief, thought, feeling or emotion within me that manifested in Sylvana standing on the sidewalk by herself that day.”
“Please forgive me.”
“I didn’t know how else to respond. I didn’t know how else to feel or to think. I didn’t know any better. I did the best that I knew how at that moment. But it’s all right. I’m learning. I’m growing. I’m bound to make mistakes. When I know better, I’ll do better. Mony, I love you.”
By then, I was crying. This self-forgiveness is the next tenet of the teaching. Again, I’m speaking to myself. I’m not asking God or any power outside of me for forgiveness because God is Love and does not need that I ask for forgiveness. I am loved as I am, period.
I began to feel a compassion for myself then, and saw myself as a child who needed understanding, patience and a great deal of love. I began to soften my stance towards myself, to be less demanding and harsh in my judgments of myself.
“Thank you”. This is the final element of the teaching.
“Thank you to my own Soul, my Higher Self, for showing me this fear. Thank you, fear, for revealing yourself to me. Thank you, Universe, for the opportunity to heal this, to free myself of this weight in my heart, my body, my emotions, my thoughts. Thank you for the opportunity to allow more Light to enter to fill this void. Thank you for the opportunity to soar.”
“I now ask Love to transmute this energy of fear (this limited, erroneous belief about life), to return it to its natural state, which is Light. This Light now permeates every cell of my body, permeates my thoughts, my emotions. I vibrate with this Light. I am this Light. I now cut all ties with those who may have contributed to this fear from the beginning of creation to the end of all time. I am free. Thank you, thank you, thank you.”
“My inner world is safe and in harmony.”
“In my inner world, all is healed, whole and holy.”
“From my heart, I project this inner harmony and peace to the world.”
“My inner eyes see with a clearer vision than my outer eyes.”
“I trust my inner vision. I trust my inner truth.”
By loving myself, by feeling worthy of that Love, by apologizing to myself for any undesired thought, feeling or action, by forgiving myself for it, and then thanking myself for the opportunity to heal and integrate what has kept me small and in fear, I am finally free to be as grand as I wish to be. I am then the Master and creator of my life.
Whenever I have felt some of the old feelings or thoughts creeping back, I have repeated the key elements, not necessarily word for word or in the same order, but always striving for the feeling of liberation and certainty that I felt the first time.
It’s a technique that’s worked for me. It may work for you if you’re currently facing a difficult situation. If you decide to try it, I’d love to hear your experiences.